Lifelong Learning Programme

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Success Stories

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Violence is not a solution
Student, Parent
High Secondary School
School bullying
I was student in IX-th class, my parents were arguing more and more often, I barely managed to pass admission examination to high school, and they always accused me not doing anything right, that I work only for myself, that I am not grateful to them for anything. I was, as they told me, the cause of the disagreements between them. My mother reproached my father that he doesn't love me, and the latter, that she is the only person to blame for my failure, that he "gave me an impulse". I started to think that they're right, that I am not good at anything and I really thought that I might be able to amuse myself at school. I began to observe teachers' behavior, so that I found one that I could annoy. I have passed from defiance, when pointed out to my inappropriate behavior, to threats and insults. The form master, announced by teacher in question, summoned the Council of the class and I was subjected to written reprimand, but I didn’t improve my behavior because I took great pleasure at revenging myself at my parents who were forced to always come to school, to find out my penalties and to deal with my indifference. I began to play truant, blaming on the teachers who, I thought, were persecuting me, thus making me think of drop out, because I could not have stood coming to school and failing the academic year. Because I couldn't bear, any longer, my parents’ arguments, in the VI-th class, I ran away from home, I ended up in a foster home, but I was reintegrated in my family, because the psychologists considered that I have the necessary conditions to be raised by my family. During the discussions with my form mistress, I always blamed on other teachers who persecuted me, on classmates who were doing their best so that I was considered as guilty of disturbing the classes. At a certain moment, she proposed to me to participate in a counseling program offered by the school psychologist, together with my mother, who I'd seen as an ally and whom I felt the need to defend during the disputes with my father, on the topic of my behavior.
I am part of a family with an only child, in which both parents have a job and have never had financial problems, but they always argue. The feeling which they always created is that I am guilty for their misunderstandings and they would have be separated much earlier if it hadn't been for me. Because she had to face the social investigation that started the moment I ran away from home, my mother always had a tendency to be merciful but my father had a virulent tone. He considered that was the way I could be controlled. I first began to take advantage of their different behavior and to look for every opportunity to revenge because of my father's attitude. I was convinced that he didn’t deserve any kind of respect, that he was bound to raise me. Thus I started to express opposing views in all the conversations with him and always looking for an opportunity to argue with him.
I attended a counseling program with the school psychologist, that helped us, me and my mother, to establish a set of rules of the family: There were rewards for me only when I didn’t play the truant, I took good grades and I got involved in the chores, for example: I would tidy up in my room, I would keep to the work program and relaxation. In case of not obeying the rules, I was forbidden the access to internet.
After a few months, I came to consider “a friend” the teacher I had annoyed, in so far as she had not taken into account my behavior when assessing me. At the end of school year class counsel the decision to be given a low mark for my irresponsible behavior was reevaluated.
I think that the school psychologist and form master’ involvement was the best solution for me. I got used to ask for their help whenever I was in difficulty during high school. Even in the final year when, because of problems that didn’t concern me , my parents chose to divorce.
I'm satisfied that I graduated high school. I like to get involved when my friends have problems and tell them that violence is not a solution, regardless of the situation. In a world where social and economic problems become uncontrollable, affecting the children’s care and upbringing, the school psychologists should be available to a smaller number of pupils and parents, in such a way as to be able to carry out high quality counseling programs.

20 December 2014

Final Partners’ meeting

The fourth partners’ meeting took place in Florence (IT) on 15 December 2014. The meeting had the objective to check the activities carried out since the third meeting of the project and share and assess the in progress results. A special focus has been dedicated to the presentation of the strategies to solve the case scenarios.